It’s been over a year…

It’s been a year since we began TTC.  I’m still angry and upset and wondering why this is happening to me…again.  I honestly thought the first time was a fluke and that the second time would be so easy.  I regret getting on birth control after my daughter was born, if I could go back knowing what I do now I would have started trying right away.  Kaylee wants a baby sister so badly she asks us all the time, she is the type of child that would have done well with a close sibling, we just wanted a 3 year age gap.

I had an appointment at Shady Grove (the fertility specialist) but I ended up cancelling, I’m just scared to go in because I know he will tell me to loose weight and I’m afriad he won’t do anything until I loose weight.  Loosing weight is sooo stinking hard and I know I’ve had a year to loose weight and I haven’t so shame on me.